Aspire to Inspire

That’s probably my favourite quote. The structure, the rhyming and the message. I would get a tattoo of it but every time I think I’ve settled on a tattoo, it turns into the latest trend. Like a flat globe or wanderlust or the infinity symbol. But I feel I’ve discovered a muse. Which I always associated with old men and young blonde women but in my opinion it’s your source of inspiration in human form. Robert Graves said that male muses don’t exist, a female poet must be her own muse or she is nothing.  I’m the exact opposite of a feminist because I believe in equality not power. But I don’t agree with this strictly because if there’s one for a boy, there’s one for a girl. Equal

I read elsewhere that a male muse is titled an Agent of Fortune. But that doesn’t have the same, je ne sais quoi of muse. So I’m sticking with my original sentence of I’ve discovered a muse. I find myself craving to write, to express my inner thoughts. I dont want to be sensored as I usually am from fear of family and friends judgement. 

I want to be real. This isn’t saying that everything I’ve written before is fake but there may have been a family zone glossing over those posts. I feel newly awakened in a sense I have felt since returning from Europe 2 years ago. 

I described to a friend that our conversations are like debate class. It’s not arguing but we seem to see everything from completely opposite sides while still being open to the other side. It’s almost educational but completely eye opening to a different view on life. I find myself coming home and thinking why did I just reveal so much about myself, just completely opening up when I’ve cut everyone out for so long. But if my summer is filled with late night tea dates and life discussions, then I am ready. 


Photo Journal

I just wanted to share with you some of my favourite photos from the last few months. They’re either taken on an iPhone or with my GoPro. I’m no pro, but every once in a while, you can capture complete serendipity. 


Have you ever read someone’s blog, or looked through their Instagram feed and thought, I want to meet this person? How the way someone describes their day grabs you and pulls you in. You want to know more, how they came to the sentence, what movies or song lyrics influenced their vocabulary and writing style. Or what they were thinking as they took the shot. Are they like me who takes two pictures but doesn’t check them because “you can’t force perfection.” Which is just my way to avoid stressing over the perfect picture, if it happens, it happens. Que sera, sera. 

It’s a rare but beautiful occurance that should never be taken for granted. But it’s hard. I’ve had five minute conversations in the bar bathroom or 10 minute conversations with a make up artist and thought, can I ask for her number? Can I say let’s be friends, you’re awesome? I just want to get coffee and keep you in my life because you make me happy. I have a fear they’ll think I’m crazy or trying to pick them up, I’m not sure which makes me more uncomfortable. 

Maybe this is a personal goal I need to make, to not let soul companions slip through the cracks. There’s been 3 in the last six months. One left town but I’m hoping to see on a quick trip home in the summer. Another one has been kind of floating on the edge of my life for a few months but now I’m thinking I should reel him in. And then there’s a new one. He has opened my eyes and I want him. Not in a sexual way, I just want to know more. All of him, what makes a clock tock? Why are you who you are and does it say anything about who I am? We shall see what we shall see. 

A little slice of Sunshine

I did something new. Well a lot of new things happened but I’ll only share the things that are appropriate. First off, I went to Cuba. I’ve been to the Carribean 3 times before but always to stay with family, I’m no stranger to the heat and beaches but staying in a resort was a completely new experience for me. Let me tell you, an all inclusive is amazing but a dangerous thing. Being able to walk up to the bar at any time of day and have any drink under the sun made for you, no change, no hassle and usually only tipping at the end of the day. I didn’t spend much on my trip, 90% was spent on tips.

I can’t decide if I liked being in an all inclusive or not, if I would do it again or if it is even really considered traveling. I’m no stranger to travel, though it has been 2 years since my European escapades, I felt sheltered in the resort. I went off resort twice. Once for a club called the Cave and once to see the town of Varadero. I would’ve loved to go to Havana or a new beach but most of my days were spent drunk in the sun.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining about an endless supply of drinks by the pool or ocean, especially since this was my first real vacation in two years. Sure the food was nothing special but I can’t say I expected much, the resort was run down but that’s what you get for having a bachelorette booked by a 30 year old mom. If people asked me about Cuban food or culture or anything really, I’d tell you I only know a limited amount, and what I did learn was commercialized for the audience.

Something I did love love love? No offense America, but no Americans. The demographic was Canadian with the odd German couple here and there. Maybe other people wouldn’t notice it as much but Americans are just…different. You can tell from one sentence where they’re from, and I don’t really mean that in a good way. Maybe working front desk has made me judgemental. 

I am glad I got to experience Cuba as it is, or how it was, as Americans are finally being allowed entry and everything will start to change. A tip I wish someone had told me before going: bring all the money you need with you, once you’re there, ATMs don’t exist. Cash is the only form of payment in the majority of hotels and restaurants, there are banks but the charging fee and card fee and exchange rate are not wonderful. And a Cuban Peso is not the same as a Mexican Peso. You can only exchange them in Cuba and they are WAY lower than a Canadian dollar. Another thing? Don’t forget the basics. Again this might change with the US gaining access but as it stands, you can’t find a toothbrush, a razor or condoms at the corner store. And if you do be prepared to pay 3 times the average price at home. 
If you have anything extra, give it to the maids, or the pizza lady who put up with your drunk pizza request every day at 4pm. The maids receive everything anyone leaves behind, but everyone needs the essentials.